I find myself, extremely often, merely talking to God and leaving Him no time to answer. I ask for what I want then go about my business. That's not the way it should be. Yet I find it so hard to listen. Maybe it's because the concept of God is still very foreign to my sinful brain. I've come to know God quite well compared to how I did before I became a Christian. Yet, in comparison I have a much, much longer way to go. So far in fact, that I can't even see the end result. Knowing God fully is probably impossible for humans, simply because we're human and therefore not God.
But anyways, back to prayer. I find myself so often not listening period. So what do I do? I usually sit there quietly doing nothing else looking like a monk attempting zen for a few minutes. Usually, there's nothing. No response. But every now and then, I hear God. And those encounters are so freakin beautiful that it makes all the times I don't hear Him worth it. And yet, now compared to where I used to be, it seems like I hear God all the time. I suppose that's a part of maturing. Coming so far, yet the farther you come, the further you realize you have to go. I won't get "there" until I'm in Heaven, and what an awesome time that will be.
It's tough to follow God when you can't understand what He's trying to tell you. But, from personal experience, I can guarantee God is always trying to tell you something. Hearing Him isn't as easy as we want it to be. It's not "just be still and He'll show up". Because sometimes He doesn't. But I think that's because we don't understand how He communicates with us. God is so very different from us that the fact that we even understand a little bit is nothing short of a miracle. But then miracles are easy for God. Growing closer to God is a process. It takes time and can't be easily explained. But it is so worth it. I would never go back.
So that's my first post. Lot's of rambling and probably no real point, but I tried.
Grace and peace.
